40th BIRTHDAY

   My 40th birthday was coming up, and Lauren, my wife, told me that she was going to book us on a 7 night cruise through the Western Caribbean, with stops at Georgetown, Grand Cayman Island, and Montego Bay, Jamaica. Sounded great, sailing a tropical sea, and having a sexy blonde wife of 39, who still looks as hot as she did at 19. With her mane of long blonde hair, deep sea blue eyes, a classic 36-24-36 shape, and a gorgeous ass that almost no man can resist a look over once he gets a first look, I knew I was lucky, and I was revved up.

     The second day at sea, I awoke to the feel of my cock being stuffed into a hot, wet mouth. I opened my eyes to see my sexy naked wife swallowing my cock, she looked up at me, and smiled.

     "Good morning, and Happy Birthday honey", she cooed, "I thought this would be a good way to waken you up."

     I maneuvered her around so I could 69 her. She was happy to position her coral pink opening over me. I slid my fingers through the soft blonde hair of her neatly trimmed mound, slipping my fingers through her lips, I opened them up to let my tongue slide inside. My tongue darted in and out, tasting her sweet essence, I then slid two fingers in, finger-fucking her as I zeroed in on her clit, licking and running my tongue around her joy button, until she cried out with pleasure.

     "Oh yeah, right there, lick me, make me cum baby, yes, cumming, yes, yes, oh YEAH!" she grunted.

     I could feel her body shaking, her cunt convulsed, she squealed with joy, her orgasm washing over her in a wave of pleasure as her pussy spasmed around my two fingers. Her mouth went back to working on my prick, I could feel the grip of her lips milking at me, and I was almost ready to blow when she stopped, and hopped off the bed. She grinned as she told me that my present was for tonight, and she thought I would enjoy it more if I were in a state of constant horniness today.

     As the ship was at sea, we spent most of the day by the pool. Lauren put on her skimpiest bikini, the one that she usually wears only in the privacy of our back yard. The bottom barely covers half her ass, a thin ribbon acoss each hip connects the front, which also just barely covers her mound, and her breasts are a voyeur's delight when she wears the top, two half size cups contain her breasts, just barely. She paraded around boldly at the pool, flaunting her body, causing all the male heads to turn her way, eyeing her body hungrily. I spent most of the time on my stomach to hide my swollen cock.

     Dressing for dinner, Lauren put on her black minidress, and a black thong panty. Her large breasts she left braless, and at our dinner table that night, all the men had something to feast their eyes on.

     After dinner, and we returned to our cabin, and my wife told me that my birthday present was ready. She told me to strip, and when I was naked, she led me to our bed, told me to lay down, and she put a blindfold over my eyes.

     She said, "Now honey, I am going to strip off my thong, and go up on deck, and flash my pussy to as many men as I feel like. I'll let a good looking guy pick me up, take me to the lounge and dance with me, real slow so he can feel me up. Then, I'm going to come back here, and I want you to lick my cunt the very best that you can. If I feel like you're not doing a good enough job, I'll go back to the lounge, and let the guy take me to his cabin and fuck my ass off."

     With that, I heard the stateroom door open and close as she left. I was almost in shock, this was turning out to be a weird birthday present. After a couple of hours had gone by, I was getting concerned, then I heard the stateroom door open and close, and I sensed her move over, standing next to the bed.

     "Ok baby", I growled, "Now, I'm going to give you the best lick job you ever had. Sit on my face, and let me suck out all your hot juices!"

     I could hear the rustle of clothes as she discarded her dress, then I felt her climbing into position. I smelled the lusty heat as she lowered herself, and my tongue slid in for a taste, meeting a pussy thickly covered with a lustrous pelt of pubic hair, not Lauren's neatly trimmed muff!

     My heart was hammering, I felt like I was going to pass out. What was going on, was I hallucinating? Was it all a dream? I felt her body stretch out, I could feel her stiff nipples pressing against me as she positioned herself in a 69, and took my cock into her mouth. The feel of soft lips, and a hot wet mouth surrounding my cock made me relax a bit, and I decided to try and figure it out later. I resumed my oral ministrations, and noticed the differences as I cued in more on the tactile sensations with my eyes covered. The feel of her pubic pelt against my face, the delicious scent of her pussy, the feel of her skin against mine. I could hear her breathing start to pick up, and she whispered at me to make her cum, and I was happy to do so, licking her to a noisy, gushing release, flooding my face with a load of tangy juices. I told her to suck my cock and make me cum.

     She whispered back, "My wife made me promise to only suck your cock until you came, but your cock is too good to pass up, and if you won't tell her that I fucked you, neither will I!"

     I was happy to agree to that, and she squatted over me, I could feel her hands sliding up and down on me, then holding my cock at the right level, poised at her entrance. She slid down, and I could feel my cock penetrate her, sliding into a slick tunnel of tight, squeezing heat. I groaned as she took me as far up her as I could go. She rode me, sliding her fiery tightness up and down on me again and again, her movements picking up speed.

     "Fuck, oh yeah, feels so good, no way could a woman pass up such a hard, eager cock, fuck yeah!" she grunted as she rode my prick.

     The tightness of her inner velvet was exquisite, her pussy was a gripping receptacle, fiery hot, moist and oh so tight, it sucked and milked greedily at my throbbing shaft, demanding every drop I had. As she let out a howl of pleasure, I felt her body shuddering in climax, and I groaned from pure pleasure as I reached my peak, and with her pussy clamped tightly around my aching prick, spasming wildly, I exploded, my cock squirting wildly inside her hot tunnel. Her grip milked my throbbing cock greedily, draining my balls deep into her inner depths, sucking every last drop out of my cock. She lay forward against me, resting for a few minutes until my cock started to soften, and she climbed off me.

     I asked her who she was, and she said, "I'm one of the passengers. You don't know who I am, and I'm not going to tell you. But, I know who you are, so every time you see an attractive female passenger, you'll wonder if she is the one. I had a great time, you are one hot fuck. Happy birthday!"

     She gave me a kiss, and I heard her leave. I suddenly felt a hand removing the blindfold, to see Lauren sitting in a chair right next to the side of the bed, 2 lighted candles bathing the scene in a golden glow.  She was totally nude, grinning broadly, she'd been in the room all the time, not more than 3 feet away, and had set up everything, so she could watch me enjoying my birthday with a hot birthday fuck with another woman.

     She giggled, "So honey, how did you like your birthday present?"

     I said, a note of awe in my voice, "Baby, you are amazing."

     "And horny, watching you fuck another woman made me hot! I wanna suck all the juices off your cock, I want to taste the other woman on your prick, then I want you to pound my pussy, and blow you steamy load deep inside me."

     Lauren jumped on the bed, and swallowed my cock, stuffing all 8 inches into her mouth. She clamped her lips aroeund me, and bobbed her head up and down. She stopped for a minute.

     "Oh fuck, the taste of your spunk and her juices all mixed together is beyond delicious! Fuck, I love it!"

     She resumed, sucking my cock wildly, and I could feel my cock reviving, growing back up, knowing that I was going to be buried in my wife's needy, greedy cunt got me back up, until my 8 inches stood up again, hard and ready.

     Lauren growled, "Yeah, oh fuck yeah. Give it to me doggy style baby, fuck me from behind, and give me all you got!"

     Lauren cocked her ass up, and she slid two fingers down, parting her tight lips. I could see her lucious inner pinkness, slick with her juices, her cunt so ready for fucking. The sight gave me a raging hard-on, I mounted her, penetrating her from behind, powering my bloated, steel hard cock as far up her tight, burning cunt as I could. She squealed with pleasure as my swollen cock opened her up. I gripped her hips tightly, grunting out, "Oh Fuck, yeah!" as I powered my cock deep up her, the feel of Lauren's fiery well of pleasure wrapping around my hard cock, hearing her grunt of pleasure as I pushed in right to the hilt.

     "Yeah, give it to me!", Lauren cooed, "Fuck, it feels so damn good! Let me have it all, sweetie! Fuck me good, and shoot your hot load deep inside me! I wanna feel you squirt, I want to feel the throbbing of your hot prick as you explode your load deep inside me, fuck me, fuck my ass off!"

     Fired up by her excitement, I was happy to oblige. Gripping her hips tightly, I plunged into her again and again, going right to the balls. She was grunting passionately as I power fucked her, plowing her most inviting furrow. The steamy heat wrapped snugly around my cock kept me steel hard as I gave her a doggy style power fucking, slamming deep into her, driving deep up her quivering cunt, again and again. The wet squelch of her juicy pussy being pounded, and her sounds of joy and delight urged me on, my grunts of passion joined hers, as I could feel my nut sac cinch up tight, my balls locked into firing position. I could feel the cum building, I knew I was gonna cum massively.

     I could feel my cock jerk, swelling tight with a massive urgency. My cockhead, which had been touching her cervix, now pierced it, she let out a cry of pleasure as my cock forced its way into her very womb. That took me over the edge. 

     "Yeah, let it go, sweetie, let me have it! Shoot off that thick load, flood me with that thick juicy load of spunk you have for me, sweetie, fill my womb, cum in me, cum in me NOW!" Lauren gasped.

     With a roar of pleasure, I let it go, my cock buried deep up her tight cunt, pulsing wildly, erupting in her, filling up her womb with a sizzling load. As my pulsing cock filled her, she howled with pleasure as her cunt wrenched wildly, her orgasm tearing into her, making her body shake like a leaf in a storm. I could feel my cock, spurting out thick ropes of cum deep inside her, splattering her insides as her pussy, wrapped tightly around my shaft, spasmed wildly, sucking every drop out of me.

     As our orgasms ebbed, we flopped down in a sweaty, satisfied heap. Wow, what a birthday present, it sure beat cake and ice cream.

SWEET SEX STORY

“What did I do?” my mind reeled with the thought of last night. I mean, certainly, I had no idea that I was making love to my daughter Jenna last night. It had to have been my wife, Amanda. There was no way my suspicions could be true, was there? Then I would flash back. She pulled her panties aside, not me. She pushed back against my thrusts, which meant that she was awake. Or maybe she was reacting in her sleep. But no, there is no way she could have slept through the force of her orgasm. I felt her entire body shudder when she came.

“Something wrong, dear” Amanda asks, putting a plate of pancakes on the table in front of me.

“Um, just still half asleep I guess,” I stammer. I can’t stop the images running through my mind. My daughter impaled on my hard cock, moaning and writhing as I push myself deeper. My cock starts to stiffen. I need to stop this, but my mind keeps replaying the sound of Jenna’s orgasm, the feeling of her muscles clenching around my cock.

            “You look terrible, maybe you should take it easy today.” She says, returning to the stove, “Pancakes Jen?”

            “Just one mom,” Jenna replies, looking at me with a mischievous grin,” I am still full from last night.” I can’t help noticing her hand slowly rubbing her lower abdomen.

            I must have gone pale when I saw that because Amanda came over and looked down at me, her hand pressed against my forehead. “Hmmm, no temperature,” she says, “But I want you to go back to bed. You look terrible baby.”

            “I’m not a little boy,” I reply, somewhat petulantly, making both Amanda and Jenna laugh. I get up from the table and make my way back to the bedroom, still in a state of shock. I lie down on my bed, burying my head under my pillows. My head is swimming with the thoughts of what I did to my little girl last night. I roll onto my stomach as my cock swiftly fills with blood, thickening and stiffening. I decide to wait until my wife and daughter leave so I can take care of this burning desire. I know exactly what images will be in my head and that just makes my cock grow harder. I hear the women getting ready for their trip to the mall. My mind goes into overdrive, knowing they will be gone all day. I will have plenty of time to go through the fantasies that are now running through my head. My imagination is putting my little girl in all kinds of poses, not a single one of them having any business in a fathers mind.

            Sometime later I hear the sound of the front door closing. In the distance, I hear my wife’s car start up and pull out of the driveway. Thinking everything is clear, my hand slips under my body and reaches for my cock.

            “Daddy?” my daughters voice makes my heart skip a beat.

            “I thought you were going to the mall with your mom,” I croak nervously, my heart in my throat.

            “I told mom I wanted to make sure you were feeling ok”, Jenna replies, “and last night…”

            “Jenna, ummmm,” I stammer, “last night was…” my voice slowly drifts off

            “I know daddy, you thought I was mom.”

            “Yeah sweetie, I didn’t mean, well, I’m trying to say that…” I mumble, “I didn’t know it was you.”

            “Daddy, its ok,” my beautiful little girl says quietly, “I know you would never do anything to hurt me.”

            “But what I did was totally wrong sweetie,” I mumble, certain that she will be scarred for ever, “Even if you were your mother, it was something that I should have never done if you were in bed too.”

            “Daddy?” she says softly, almost whispering.

            “It can’t happen again,” I decide out loud, “I know you are afraid of storms honey, but you can’t come into bed with us anymore.”

            “I haven’t been afraid of storms since I was 14, daddy,” Jenna admits.

            “What? Then why do you come into my room whenever it storms?” I ask, confused.

            “When I was 13, there was a big storm. You and mom were already asleep so I snuck under your covers. You and mom must have had sex that night, because you were both naked. Early that next morning, I was woken up early when you rolled over and the blankets got pulled off of you. I saw you all hard daddy, and it made me feel tingly inside. I didn’t know what to do, so I went back to my room and I started…”, Jenna’s voice trails off into silence.

            “You masturbated.”

            “Yes.”

            “And since then you have been trying to get another look?”

            “Yes, and no,” Jenna admits, “some times I got to feel you pressed against me.”

            “So what happened last night has happened before?”

            “Not really, usually I would feel you pressed against my leg. Some times I would try to rub myself against you. But nothing like last night had ever happened before.”

            “I see.”

“Are you mad at me daddy?”

            “No baby, I’m not mad.”

            “Will you look at me daddy?” Jenna asks softly, “Please?” I can almost hear tears in her voice.

            I roll over onto my back and slowly bring my eyes up to look at my little girl, images of her flashing through my mind. I can see Jenna as a newborn, just coming home from the hospital. Then the memory of Jenna in her kindergarten class play. Every major point in her life appears before me. And in every image, my little girl smiles up at me with complete and unconditional love, her blue eyes shining with admiration.

            Then I see her. My little girl is standing in my room, completely naked. Jenna must have specifically chosen the spot where she is standing. The sun shines down through the skylight, haloing her body in a soft glow. My eyes move slowly up her naked body. Her thighs are smooth and firm. I can see the muscle definition of her legs. Her thighs are parted slightly. My eyes are drawn to the slight puckered slit between her thighs. Her outer lips are parted slightly, the soft pink inner lips peeking from their fleshy nest.  I move my eyes higher, noticing the movement of her stomach as her breath moves in and out, quick and nervous. As my eyes continue their climb, her body bared to my gaze, I cant help but to realize how stunningly beautiful she is. Her skin is smooth and looks like it is made of the finest silk. Even the small birthmark under her right breast is beautiful, making her beauty somehow more real, adding a small imperfection to prove that her beauty is not a dream. I marvel at the roundness of her small but firm breasts. Her nipples are standing proudly on her young breasts. As I look higher, her head is down turned, her eyes on the floor. I can see her blush spreading from her neck down to the gentle slope of her breasts. She looks up at me. I can see the nervousness in her face as she looks into my eyes. And then I see it, her complete and unconditional love.

            “Beautiful,” I whisper, my voice catching in my throat.

            “Thank you daddy,” she whispers, walking slowly towards the bed, her hips swaying sensually.

            “But Jenna, we can’t, It’s wrong. You are my daughter.”

            “That didn’t stop you last night daddy,” Jenna says with a sly smile on her face.

            “That’s not fair Jenna,” I reply, “I didn’t know it was you.”

            “But I knew it was you daddy, and I didn’t stop you.”

            “Jenna, I don’t know what to say, this is wrong, what happened last night should never have happened, not with you.”

            “But, it felt good. Didn’t it daddy?” she mumbles, looking down at the ground again, suddenly unsure of her plan, “I tried to do everything right. I’m sorry, daddy, I didn’t mean to upset you. I am a terrible daughter and I understand if you don’t want me to come into your room anymore. How could I have been dumb enough to think you could possibly think I was as pretty as mom?”  I can hear her voice break as she starts to cry. I never could stand it when she cried. As soon as her eyes misted over, I always had to make everything ok. This time was no different. I take her hand and pull her onto the bed so she is sitting next to me. My arms slip around her as I hug her tight.

            “Its ok baby, I am not upset. Last night did feel good,” I admit. I can’t believe what I am saying as the words come pouring from my mouth. I realize that my cock has been rock hard this whole time, hidden under the blanket wrapped around my waist. She snuggles deeper into my arms, causing me to lean back a little. She is pulled into me as I fall backward. Her breasts are pressed into my chest and I can feel her hard nipples. My willpower snaps and I pull her on top of me as I lie back on the bed. Jenna looks up and I lean down to kiss her. Our lips meet and she opens her mouth slightly, allowing me to slip my tongue tenderly past her lips. My tongue twists and dances with my daughter’s as I give her a kiss that redefines our relationship forever. My hand slips down her shoulder and moves slowly to her hip. Our kiss deepens as I run my fingers around her hip and over her smooth stomach. She sighs and her legs part slightly. I hesitate now, remembering that the goddess in my arms is my little girl.

            “Please daddy, I love you and I want to make love with you.” She whispers. That’s it, the last nail in the coffin of my self control. My fingers slide between her thighs and stroke deftly over her slit. I can feel the heat of her sex as she opens her thighs wider. A soft moan escapes my daughter’s lips and it is easily the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I rubs her tender pussy lips as she sighs and moans into our kiss. Jenna’s hands move between us to slip under the sheet around me and find my hardness, stroking slowly.

“Can I see it daddy?” she moans, running her fingers around the length.

            “Yes baby, you can see it. Get up for a second.” Jenna pulls away, allowing me to remove the sheet and slip my pajama bottoms down. My cock springs out of its flannel prison and stands straight up in the air. Jenna giggles at this but soon slips her hand around my thickness again.

            “Do you like what you see baby?” I ask, my fingers beginning to explore the soft folds of her sex. Jenna nods slowly as she moans louder. “what would you like to do with it?”

            “Ummm, well, there is something I wanted to try if I could.” Jenna responds nervously.

            “What is that baby?”

            “Can I kiss it daddy?”

            “Oh yes baby, but only if you let me kiss you too.”

            “OH please daddy, I would like that.”

            I lie back in bed as my daughter leans close to my cock. I pull her body over me, letting her straddle my face. I feel her breath hot against my skin. Before my eyes lies one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Jenna’s pussy is almost identical to her mother’s. Her inner lips parting as I lick her inner thigh. She giggles.

            “Daddy! That tickles!” she laughs.

            “Oh? Well, does this tickle?” I drag my tongue over her slit, pushing the tip in to lick her pussy, slowly circling the entrance to her sex. Then I push inside. My daughter’s pussy grips my tongue as she moans her answer to my question. She kisses the tip of my cock and sucks the tip into her mouth, giving her daddy’s cock a slow, deep kiss. I groan in pleasure as I dive my tongue into her musky slit, her juices flowing. My daughter’s pussy tastes tangy on my tongue as I lick deeper and deeper.

            “Something makes me think you have done this before baby.”

            “Well, I have had boy friends daddy. I had to learn to do that because I didn’t want to have sex with any of them. I wanted you to be my first.”

            “There was no blood last night sweetie,” I mention, confused, “Have you had sex before?”

            “No daddy, I broke my hymen a few years ago with my hairbrush, but you were the first man inside me.” I groan again as she sucks my cock hard.

            “Daddy, will you please make love with me?” Jenna asks hesitantly, “I want to do all of this, but right now, I want to feel you inside me again.” I need no more urging. I pick her up and move her to the side, laying her on her back. I move over her, positioning my hips between her thighs, my hard cock glistening with my little girl’s saliva. She looks down between us, watching as I position myself to slip into her. I move my hips up, rolling them forward and rubbing the tip of my manhood against her pussy.

            “Are you ready baby?” I ask, almost unable to stop myself from slamming into her.

            “Yes daddy, I need you.”

            With that, I push my hips forward slowly. I want to savor every feeling. I know I have already been deep inside my little girl, but this was different. This time, I know exactly who she was and I was making love to her. I push deep, her muscles stretching as I drive every inch of my manhood into my little girl’s pussy. Her legs wrap around my waist and she bucks her hips against my thrusts. Her lips quiver in pleasure as she moans over and over again “Fuck me daddy, fuck me daddy.” I grant her wish and plunge harder and faster. Again and again I slam my cock into her tight pussy. Her body shudders. Suddenly her pussy floods around my cock as she explodes in orgasm. I can’t take anymore. I realize that I have no condom on. I look down at Jenna’s trembling lips and lean in to kiss her again.

            “Baby, I need to put something on, I don’t think I can take much more.” I moan, still pumping my hips against her.

            She wraps her thighs tighter around my waist. “No daddy, I want you to cum in me. I need to feel you explode in my pussy.” I slam my hips against her again, pistoning my manhood into my little girl’s slick, wet pussy. I can feel my control slipping. Her body writhes against mine as we make love. My balls start to clench up against my body. I can feel my orgasm building and I try to hold back as much as I can, knowing that the longer I hold back, the bigger the explosion into my little girl’s pussy will be. I push my upper body off of her and lean down to kiss her breasts. I suck one of her nipples into my mouth and bite down tenderly. She cries out as she cums again, her body jerking wildly beneath mine. Her climax pushes me over the edge. I drop my body on top of her, slamming my hardness as deep into her as I can. My cock swells as I burst. Lights explode in front of my eyes as I cry out, cumming deep in her tight, fertile pussy. My back arches as I pump my thick seed into her belly.

            After what feels like forever, we collapse together in the bed. I roll off of her and pull her to me.

            “Oh sweetie, that was amazing, but we really shouldn’t do that again. I love you very much, but what would your mother say if she ever found out?” I moan, relaxing in the afterglow of what we just did.

            “Her mother already knows,” Amanda says softly from the bedroom door. Her shirt is unbuttoned, baring her breasts. Her hand is moving furiously under her skirt as she fingers her wet pussy…

But that is another story.

RIVER NIGHT...

So about 6 months ago i moved away from my home town and went about 300 miles away. Well recently i decdied it was time for a trip back to my home town. An ex girlfriend of mine Jessica, heard that i was going to be in town and called me about two minutes after crossing the city line. She wanted me to meet her at a local bar and then said we would be heading to the lake. She really didnt give me a chance to aruge.
After getting to the bar, i found out Jessica wasnt alone, Her new boyfriend was there along with one of her best friends Mandy and her boyfriend chris. It didnt bother me, about Jessica having a boyfriend, she and i had broken up over a year ago becuase i traveled with my job so much. Jessica is 5'5 brown hair, green eyes, very cute, skinny very tan, she seemed to always wear a cowboy hat.
After awhile there drinking somehow we all got talked into going over to Chris house, to keep drinking then heading out to the river afterwards. So We all jumped in our rigs and headed that way. Jessica and I both stopped for more beer at another store, i also grabbed some harder licker. The river always had some hot girls there wanting to party so i wanted to be prepaired. Then we drove over to chris house. On the way i noticed that down the road noticed Mandys car sitting on the side of the road, so i pulled in behind her and walked up to her window and found her crying. I opened the door and gave her a strong hug, she apolligized for crying, and also saying she was sorry she was such a mess. she explaned that she was now single. Jack pot... Mandy is 5'9 long legs, sexy tight body, really good looking c cups very tan, and a nice ass to go with it.
After dropping her car off at Jessicas, she jumped in my truck with me and we all headed to the river. She talked to me on the way out there and we joked a bunch and she kept drinking. Once out at the river there was already a group of people there. To my suprise though only one guy with this group and 6 girls. They already had been drinking and having a good time juging by the fire and empty beer bottles all around. 
We went and intoduced ourselfs to the new group and started talking and drinnking with them. we all started takeing shots. Im not really sure who first said something but someone said lets go swimming in the river. well none of us had the proper cloths to go into the water but next thing i knew the girls from the other group are naked and walking twards the water. Jessica giggled but stayed with Mandy and i next to my truck. Earlyer Jessica's boyfriend had way to much and passed out long before any of the fun started. 
As we watched Mandy kept close to me keeping her hands on me. touching all over me. After a few more minutes jessica asks us if we wanna go in the water and give us both a naughty look. i say maybe in a minute, and mandy agrees, Jessica doesnt start she starts touching me, then she backs way from us and starts dancing to the music that playing. then i notice she starts to undo her shirt and then her pants and bra and then her panttys are off. Jessica is standing there in front of Mandy and i butt naked. Both mandy and jessica giggle, and by this time i get hard. Mandy who has been touching me all over runs her hand over my pants and notices im hard, She them keeping her hands on my hard on starts kissing me. All of a sudden while im kissing Mandy i feel a tug on my jeans and feel my pants being pulled down. Then i feel a mouth on my cock. I look down and Jessica is suckign my cock. Mandy looks down and then looks back at me and smiles, then starts stripping her cloths off. then she gets down and starts licking my shaft with Jessica. I take my shirt off and stand there enjoying every second of these girls talented mouth. Mandy then stands up and starts kissing me then i feel a little tug, Jessica is standing and pulling my dick. she then takes Mandys hand and pulls us both into the water. 
Once in the water mandy still doesnt want to be away from me. She wrapes her legs around my wast and rubs her clit agents my cock. while kissing me. Jessica runs her hands over both of our bodys. Well about 20 minutes of this is all i can take. I walk out of the water with Mandy still around my waste and throw her up agenst my truck and start pumping my cock in and out of her. about 10 minutes of this then we fall to the ground on the sandy banks and i keep pounding her tight little pussy. I have never heard anyone moan that much before. She started screaming oh shit oh shit oh shitttttttttttttttt. Then i felt her pussy clamp down. Then i felt i was cumming and told mandy im cumming baby. she moaned please i want it in me... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee then i blew my load in her..
Jessica smiled as she walked up to us, both of us breathing hard. Glade you two are having fun. looks like im not getting any tonight cuzz my man cant hold his booze. I stood up and threw jessica agest my truck as started kissing her, then raching down i played with her pussy. started finguring her, she moaned in my mouth.. I felt my cock getting hard so i kept this up for a few more minutes then threw her on the ground and got ontop of her and started pounding her tight pussy. like with mandy she was moaning very loud then i felt a hand by my balls and ntoiced mandy playing with jessicas pussy while i was pounding it. She screamed three times and i felt her pussy clamping down all three times then i felt it, i was goign to cum again, I kept going moaning im going to cum jessica, like with mandy, she moaned please in me pleaseeeeeeeeeee then i blew deep inside her pussy. Jessica layed there breathing hard, i rolled off laying on my back and mandy layed on one side, jessica on another. 
this wasnt the end to tonight maybe if u guys like it ill post the second part of my story. This is a true story

GREAT DANES

 My name is Mark, I’m retired and live in a bungalow style home in the middle of 5 acres of land, I have a pool which is fenced in by a 7’ high wood fence and I’m a semi-nudist.  By that I mean when I’m home I strip and enjoy nature.  I was sitting by the pool reading the for sale adds in the paper when I spotted an advertisement for the sale of two Great Dane puppies.  I’ve always loved dogs so I called and was told that they are brother and sister and 6 months old.  I got the address and proceeded to visit so I could look the puppies over.  Needless to say I fell in love with both of them and a purchase price was assigned.  When I got them home I let them loose in the back yard and watched as they immediately started investigating and marking their territory.  I named the male Randy and the Female Sara.

The next day I commenced with their behavioral training which they took to and now I have two devoted loving dogs that go swimming with me and Ruth is my GF.  Ruth was away on business and when she returned she feel in love with Randy and Sara and was really surprised at how well they behaved.  Yes, Ruth is also into nudism.  Unlike myself, Ruth is well proportioned and loves being able to get a full body tan without the tan lines.  Ruth also takes care of waxing my body and removing all the hair from around my cock and balls, she calls me a baby when I scream as she pulls the tape off, but dam it really hurts, and then she will give me a blowjob telling me how sorry she was for hurting me.  Ruth is really a slut and loves sucking dick till she gets her fill of cum.

Ruth told me that she had to go into the office to finish some paperwork left over from her last trip.  While she was gone I decided to go swimming and when I finished taking a few laps I got out of the pool and I dropped my towel, as I was bending over I felt a cold nose and tongue licking my ass, I turned and found Sara was the one doing the trilling.  I bent back over and there she was at it again, she would lick from my balls up through my ass, I spread my cheeks so she could get better access.  What she was doing was driving me crazy especially when her tongue was around my asshole, my dick was hard as a rock so I turned to see what she would do, she started licking my shaft and the head, I thought I was in heaven.

As I approached climax status I was shaking and then I started shooting cum around her mouth which she was licking it up as fast as I shot it out.  As my dick soften she spent time cleaning me up then started licking up cum that fell to the ground.   Ruth call from the office and asked what I was doing, when I told her what Sara had done she got excited and told me that she was on her way home.  When Ruth arrived she tore off her clothes and came out to the pool.  She came close and gave me a kiss and I reached up and felt her pussy which was wet, really wet.  She sat down in one of the special lounge chairs and was trying to get Sara to come over and start licking her pussy.  Sara did not move from my side, but, Randy came over and sniffed Ruth’s pussy and immediately started licking her from asshole up through her pussy lips. 

I told Ruth to scoot down in the chair and let’s see if Randy would mount her.  I looked under Randy and saw that his dick was coming out of its sheath; I placed Randy’s front paws up on the chair arms and assisted him in finding his mark.  Unlike a human, Randy just shoved it home which brought an “OMG!!” moan from Ruth.  Randy was dancing on his hind legs trying to get closer, he was moving his body at almost break neck speed and Ruth was screaming to high heaven, saying how great and full she felt.  Ruth told me that Randy seemed to be getting bigger, so I took a look and discovered that Randy was trying to get his knot inside her, I placed my hand next to the knot to stop him from splitting her open.  Each time Rand plunged forward Ruth would scream she was Cumming, after several climaxes Randy start hollering and Ruth’s eyes got real wide as Randy shot his sperm in her pussy. 

When Randy was finished he dismounted and started licking up his mess, Ruth screamed make him stop I’m way to sensitive, please make him stop, so I pulled Randy away and he lay down and started cleaning himself.  Before we could talk about what had happen I advised Ruth to look at Sara, what she saw was Sara licking my ball sack and dick.  I told Ruth that the whole time that I was assisting her Sara had been doing that to me.  My dick was again hard as a rock and I asked Ruth to help me because I was going to fuck Sara.  Ruth got Sara to turn around and made her back up to my chair, I proceeded to take my dick in hand and rub it up and down Sara’s pussy.  I felt Sara’s pussy start to open and that’s when I inserted my cock, believe it or not my cock slid all the way in and all Sara did was turn her head and look at me.  I started rocking back and forth telling Ruth that Sara had the tightest pussy I have ever been inside of.

Sara’s pussy was not only tight but it was the hottest and juiciest beyond a doubt.  As I kept pumping my dick in and out I started to feel the tingling in my balls telling me that I was about to cum, and the next thing I felt was the cum moving up my dick and going straight in Sara’s pussy.  When my first shot hit Sara we heard her whine so I knew she was also climaxing. As my dick started to deflate Sara seem to really tighten up her pussy, it was like she didn’t want to let me go.  After my dick slipped out of Sara we noticed Randy come over and start licking up cum dripping out of Sara. 

Ruth and I got up and jumped into the pool in order to clean ourselves, and who should pay us a visit, non other than Randy and Sara so we washed them making sure to really clean Randy’s dick and Sara’s pussy.      

          After our session with Randy and Sara we laid in bed discussing what we had done and how we both felt.  I mentioned to Ruth that with her busy work schedule we needed a housekeeper.  She agreed, but said that it would probably be hard to find someone who was open minded.  I mentioned that I could place an advertisement in one of the underground papers and we would see what happens.

          The next morning after breakfast and Ruth went to work, I got dressed and went downtown and placed the follow advertisement; “Wanted Housekeeper for a very special couple, must be open-minded, discreet, honest and trustworthy.  If you fit the bill contact Mark and 555-0513 for interview”.

          I showed the advertisement to Ruth when she arrived home.  She said “it might work”.  She asked when it would be published, and I told her that the paper came out on Friday each week.  After the first publicized week I received a call from Ms. Princess Batibo, a Filipina, and age 22.  I set up an interview appointment for Saturday morning at 8 am.  That night I told Ruth we had a taker, and that her name was Princess Batibo, from the Philippines, age 22, and the interview was set for Saturday at 8 am.  Why don’t we go outside and play with Randy and Sara for awhile.

          As we sat in our lounge chairs, Randy came up to Ruth and started licking her legs, she spread them so Randy would have better access to her pussy.  Sara on the other hand, came to me and commenced to lick my balls and dick.  Ruth made the comment “I want to feel all of Randy inside me including his knot”.  I placed Randy’s front paws on the arms of the lounge chair as Ruth scooted down making it easier for him to enter her pussy.

          Randy started fucking Ruth and Ruth screamed “I’m Cumming” when Randy pushed his knot inside her.  Randy’s hind legs were dancing as he tried to get further into Ruth’s pussy.  When he came I thought Ruth was going to pass out, but instead she screamed “his cum is so hot, I’m Cumming again”.  When he finished and started to pull out, “Ruth screamed for me to stop him, it hurts”, I held Randy’s hind quarters still as we waited for his knot to go down.  After about 5 minutes he slipped out of Ruth’s pussy and trotted over on the grass and started cleaning himself.

          Sara came over and started licking Ruth’s pussy as cum was spilling out, this brought Ruth to another climax.  I moved next to Ruth’s head and stuck my dick in her mouth.  She would suck and moan, then suck some more until I blew my load down her throat.  Ruth got up and we retired to our bedroom for a good nights rest.

          The next morning being Saturday, we were looking forward to interviewing Ms. Batibo regarding our housekeeping needs.  I was sitting in the den reading the morning paper as Ruth was finishing up the breakfast dishes when the door bell rang.  Ruth and I grabbed our housecoats from the hall tree and when I opened the door I was somewhat surprised.  Ms. Batibo stood about 5’ tall and was rather intimidating with her beauty.

          I invited her in and made the introductions, we all moved into the den and I asked Princess to tell us a little about herself.  She told us that she was on a visitor’s visa and that it would expired in thirty days, so she was really looking for a sponsor, and a work sponsor would meet her needs.  At present she was staying with friends but had to move every week to other friend’s homes, she wanted, no needed a permanent place to reside.  

          I looked a Ruth and she gave a nod of her head indicating for me to continue with the interview.  I asked Princess what she knew regarding the subject of nudism.  Princess told us that she enjoyed being nude and she would always remove her clothes and walk around the house nude, of course that only happened when she knew the family would be gone for several hours.  I asked her what she would say if we told her we were nudist.  The first question out of her mouth was; “could she also be able to go nude while in the house?”.  Ruth and I stood and started removing our housecoats and told Princess she may join us if she wanted.

          Princess immediately stood and removed her clothing.  I told her to remain standing and turn around, the view was spectacular.  She had well rounded breasts, well trimmed pussy hair, well proportion ass, and long black hair midway down her back.  Ruth looked at me and noticed that I was getting an erection and smiled. I had Princess sit down and asked her what she thought of Bestiality.  I told her we had two Great Danes named Randy and Sara, and sometimes we played with them in the backyard.  Princess was quite for several minutes, then said,” she knew nothing about Bestiality but if it was important she would learn”. 

          Princess told us that she was willing to do anything in order to remain in the States and not have to return to the Philippines.  Ruth was the first to speak, she told Princess to get dressed and go retrieve her personal things from her friend’s house and come back.  Princess stood up and came forward and kissed Ruth then came to me and gave me a kiss while feeling my cock.

          After Princess left, Ruth got down on her knees and took my cock in her mouth and said, “She would finish what Princess started”.   After I came and Ruth swallowed the load I gave her we sat down and talked about Princess.  I told Ruth that when Princess returned, I would go outside and leave them to talk about what her duties were to be.

          Several hours later Princess returned with her merger belongings and Ruth escorted her to what would be her room.  I mentioned to both girls that I would be out by the pool, leaving them to their own destiny.  Later I slipped into the house and walked to Princess’ bedroom and there I discovered Ruth and Princess in a 69 position, with Princess on top.  I could not resist.  I moved behind Princess and inserted my dick in her pussy, she was shocked but kept licking Ruth’s pussy; Ruth was no longer licking and sucking Princess but had taken my balls, one at a time, in her mouth and was sucking on them as if they were grapes.  It was a short time later that all three of us came together screaming and howling like banshees. 

          It was still early in the day so we retired to the pool for a relaxing swim.  When we got outside Randy and Sara came towards us and started sniffing Princess, I told Princess to calm down they just wanted to be able to identify her.  Randy being the horniest dog I know immediately went for her pussy, she grabbed my hand tightly as Randy took a swipe with his long tongue up through her pussy lips.               

           I told Randy to go lay down, and we stepped into the pool.  I asked Princess what she felt when Randy licked her pussy.  She stated that it was “new, exciting, and she would like to try it again”, Ruth and I laughed and said we would initiate her fully later.  After our swim, Ruth and Princess prepared dinner while I called my attorney and told him of the problem regarding Princess, he told me that he did not see a problem and would get back with me on Monday afternoon.

          Monday morning came and as Ruth prepared for work with the help of Princess I sat and watched.  Princess decided that Ruth could not go to work without Cumming at least once so she began licking her pussy and fingering her ass.  It did not take long for Ruth to start Cumming and for the first time I saw her squirt and Princess was sucking as fast as she could so she wouldn’t miss a drop.  After Ruth left for work Princess set about cleaning the house, she had on a shear bibbed apron and nothing else, sexy as anything you might have ever seen.  As she got close to me she saw that I had a ragging hard on and took it upon herself to relieve the pressure by taking my cock in her mouth and acting like a vacuum cleaner sucked the juice from within.  I watched as she swallowed every last drop and got up licking her lips and smiling with pure satisfaction.  I lifted her apron and had her kneel on the arms of the chair so I could return the pleasure by sucking her cunt dry.

          My attorney called and told me that he need Princess’ Passport and a statement from me indicating that she was employed by me.  I told him we would visit his office in the morning.  When Ruth got home and we were sitting at the table I told them of my conversation and what was going to be required and when Princess and I would be going to his office. 

          I smiled at Ruth and mentioned that I felt it was time to initiate Princess and she agreed so we all retired to the backyard.  I had Princess lay down on the lounge chair and Ruth started licking her pussy to make it good and wet, then I called Randy over and pointed him towards Princess.  He took a couple of swipes with his flat tongue up and down her pussy causing Princess to moan and that was when Ruth had Randy mount her and she guided his cock to the right place.  Once Randy was inside he commenced moving and dancing around as he fucked Princess, she on the other hand was screaming “Oh Fuck this feels wonderful” , but, when Randy came Princess really let out a scream and fainted.   Since Randy could not get his knot inside Princess he pulled free and went to licking cum flowing from her pussy.

          About two minutes later Princess came back to the living and got up and hugged both of us saying that she hoped everything worked out because she did not want to leave such loving family.  We laughed and that was when Ruth told us that she wanted to suck Randy’s cock so she could experience what his juices tasted like.  I asked both girls to help me with Sara by getting her in position so I could fuck her.  As they brought Sara over and turned her around I started playing with her pussy till it opened up and then I entered her and began fucking like there was no tomorrow.  It did not take me long to drop my load and shrink making my departure easier, Princes and Ruth were ready and started licking the juices off my cock; I think they were trying to get me hard again because they sure were working hard at it.  We went inside and took a shower together then retired for the evening.

           The next day Princess and I visited the Attorney’ office and I made the statement required and Princess surrendered her Passport.  On the way home Princess mentioned that she really enjoyed last night and that it was new experience for her but she loved it.  She asked me to pull off in the woods like we did last time she wanted to fuck me in the back of the truck. I pulled in at our spot got out and removed my pants then I laid on my back in the bed of the truck as Princess lifted her skirt and sat on my face so I could lick her pussy before she straddled me, as she became wet she got up and moved back to my cock and inserted it straight in without adjusting to its dimension.  As we were fucking I reach between us and started rubbing her “little man in the boat” and this was driving her crazy, we both came together and she lay on my chest till she could recover enough to get off my cock.  When we were able to move we drove home naked below the waist.

          When Ruth came home from work we sucked and fucked for the remainder of the week.  Saturday arrived and Ruth mentioned to both of us that this was the day she was going to give Randy a blowjob.  The girls worked together and cleaned the house both stopping awhile so they could play making sure that Ruth was so Horney she would do anything with Randy.  Before we went outside Ruth said “Mark I also want to try something else; I want you to fuck me in the ass”  and Princess I want you to assist me by holding Randy’s head while I suck him off.  Off we went; this was going to be something.  Ruth called to Randy and when he came she reached under him and was playing with his cock, she made him lay down and she got on her knees, and when she saw Randy’s cock emerge from its sheath she licked it with her tongue and then stuck the head in her mouth and began sucking.  Randy raised his head and looked at Ruth probably wondering what is this. 

          Princess placed Randy’s head in her lap and Randy being that close to some pussy started licking causing Princess to moan and that was when she moved her body so Randy’s head was laying on her left thigh and he had better access to her pussy.  I got behind Ruth and stuck a finger in her ass making her jump, but, never taking her mouth off Randy’s doggie cock, as her ass opened I removed my finger and placed the head of my dick at the entrance of her shit shut.  I pushed and the head popped in, I waited till she adjusted then I started feeding her all I had, once inside I started pulling out till just the head was at the opening and then drove it home.  Ruth was moaning and once removed her mouth from Randy’s cock to say that it felt wonderful and to keep it going.  So driving my dick in and out of her ass was my main objective.

          Princess and I were watching Randy making sure that he didn’t go crazy since this was his first blowjob.  We noticed that he started really moving his hips and I told Ruth to get ready I think Randy is about to explode.   I told Ruth that I was going to shoot and fill her shit shut while Randy filled her mouth with his nectar.  Randy started unloading and it was running out the side of Ruth’s mouth there was so much and that was when I unloaded in Ruth’s ass, this drove her over the wall; as we finished, Ruth grabbed for Princess and shared Randy’s nectar by kissing her and making sure that she got some of Randy’s load .  We all collapsed except for Randy who got up and went over and lay in the grass licking his cock.  Ruth told us that Randy’s juices were sweet and although there was plenty she wanted to do it again because his cock was velvety, that’s when Princess said she also wanted to try sucking Randy’s doggie cock, and then she asked Ruth did it hurt to be butt fucked, she wanted to try that too.  Ruth told her, first it hurt a little but it opened new avenues of pleasure which she was going to get more of.  Princes and Randy is another chapter and is in the works so watch for it

MOUTHFULL FOR D FIRT TIME

This happened last halloween. My wife and I were throwing a big party. We all were drinking pretty heavly. After a few hours we started to run low on booze so this guy I never met before offered to run me down to the local liquor store to replish the party. After we got done doing our shopping we got back in the car to head home. Or so I thought. On the way home he parked his car in the woods behind my house . I thought we might smoke a bowl or something . Oh I smoked something that night all right. He turned off his car and just whiped out his fat hard cock and stated to storke it. I must have been more drunk then I thought because I didnt freak out or anything. I just reached over an put his hard cock in my hand an started to stroke him myself. That just made his fat 8' uncut cock even harder. After a few minuets I couldnt believe what I was doing but I just leaned over in my seat and wraped my lips tightly around the tip of his man meat and started to tease it with my toung . I loved how it felt in my mouth and started to move my lips up an down his shaft trying to get more and more into my mouth. Faster and faster I moved up and down his cock. I tried to fit it all in my mouth but he was just too big for me so what I couldnt fit in my mouth I used my hand and stroked him off at the same time. Oh god I was in heaven feeling his cock tap the back of my throat. After a while I had to give my mouth a reast . So I took it out and started running my toung all over an up n down his cock. I could tell by the noises he was making that he liked what I was doing. “suck my balls” he said. So I did . As I kept stroking him I took one ball into my mouth at a time licking an sucking on them. “put it back into your mouth and suck on it “ I put it back into my mouth put my lips tightly around his fat cock and started sucking on it as hard as I could . I was moving my lips up an down faster and faster . I still couldnt get it all in my mouth but I kept trying . I still couldnt belive how much I wanted that cock in my mouth.Then it happened . He exploded in my mouth. I felt it hit my throat and start to drip down . At first the taste surprised me . But I enjoyd that too. He came so hard he filled up my mouth and it was dripping from the sides of my lips. I kept his cock in my mouth and swallowed all of it I could. Then I finished by licking him clean. Yummy. After we were done he did up his pants an we went back to the party. Ive sucked more cock since then but my first was the best.

SIS OF BEST FRIEND BANGED

Im ROGER, 17 and tall and fit. my dick is 9 inches when i have a boner. my best friend jake and his family left for a vacation to their usual summer house but he told me i could climb into his house cause he borrowed something of mine and i wanted it back. i didnt realize his super hot sexy sister was going to be there, she was only 13 but was already b cup and had an amazing tight ass. she was like the queen bee of her age, i wonder if she was even a virgin

i go into the house and she is in a thong and bra watching tv, i say hi as i make her jump "just grabbin somethin" she smiled at me and winked "oh? howd u get in here, i wonder what ur grabbing?" she giggled, knowing jake prolly told mei could come in

"oh u know" i grinned as i leaned against the counter looking to make sure no one else was there, her smile assured me as she walked up, she lifted up my shirt

"well?" i took my shirt off and undid her bra as she tugged down my shorts boy was i hard already i kicked away my sandals and she pulled down my boxers as i spanked her awesome ass and played with her thong as my giant dick sprung up "wow big"

that was it, i turned her around bent her over and pulled her thong down some and shoved my fat dick into her tight young hole. she moaned loudly she wasnt a virgin unfortunately, oh well, i banged her super hard bouncing her little tits and yanking her hair as i fucked her roughly, spanking her ass as she moaned like crazy. she came on my dick more than once, i pulled out and made her suck my dick before i tossed her on the couch sitting on her abs and pressing my dick against her tits and playing with her before fucking her face and blasting my hot cum on her face and tits. i flipped her over onto her hands and knees and prodded her butthole with my dick, there she was a virgin, but my dick was covered in cum her pussy juices and saliva. "oh god yes fuck me dave" and i did, grabbing her hips and slamming my dick into her puckered asshole, destroying her as i banged my best friends sister from behind

we fucked doggystyle forever, i pounded her amazing ass as she came more than once, grabbing her tits and using her arms like handles at one point, spanking her young butt and using her hair like reigns before  i was ready to go off "you want my cum inside ur slutty ass you dirty bitch?!"

"oh yea fuck yes mm i want ur cum! dump ur jizz in me!" i grunted and groaned as she moaned and i yanked on her hair squeezingand spanking her ass as my dick throbbed and i came buckets inside of her rear, pulling out made a sound as i continued to shoot streams and gobs of cum all over her perfect ass and back, and hair

i turned her over and humped her pussy with my softening dick before pulling it out and making her lick my dick clean, cockslapping her before spanking her once more as i took a pee on her and hte couch not giving a shit anymore. she showered in my golden liquid as i grabbed my shit and headed out

"hey, where r u-"

"dont worry slut ill fuck you harder again" i said as she smiled, leaving her to clean up our wet and messy sex scene 

Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi...Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo
boli ....na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay
sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai
bevi boli...mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha
Sardar bola...acha...par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...

JOKE

AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI

JOKE

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain


SON : papa may bataoo


PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo


SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH


PAPA : ohh haan


SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay

B"DAY GIFT

Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day

URDU MIX

her koi ker raha hai arman phudi ka

phudi pe mar raha hai insaan phudi ka

phudi bhi rabar ka
lun bhi rabar ka

kya kya bana raha hai japan phudi ka

DOST DOST NA RHA

Kabhi dost kehte the ki jaan
bhi maango to hazir hai, aaj
who apni biwi ko jaan kehte
hai, aur maango to inkaar
karte hai

JOKE

A sardar and a girl were
having sex suddenly Sardar
asks - Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No. Sardar: thank god,
I dont wann to get that again!

JOKE

Sardarni: Kal chor aya aur
mere sath sex karke chala
gaya.

Sardar: Tumne use roka nahi?

Sardarni: Bahot kaha rukne ke liye,
lekin woh bola aaj bas itna hi
kal phir aaunga.

EAST OR WEST JHADIA IZ D BEST

Sardar asks CALL GIRL. How much?
She says 50 on bed,
20 on sofa, 10 on grass.
Sardar gives her 50.
She says wow, on bed?
Sardar, no 5 times on grass!!

JOKE

GIRL: maa baju waley ladkey
ko dekhar meri bra tight
ho jati hai.
MAA: beti ek bar bina bra
ki kammeej pahan kar ja,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!

JOKE

Santa: Will u marry me?
Girl: Sorry im a lesbian
Santa: what is a lesbian?
Girl: I like to have sex with girls.
Santa: Wow im also a lesbian!

DOHA

Sant kabir in computer...

"kahat 'kabir' suno bhai sadho"
aisa bhi din aayega,
chut chudegi computer se,
aur bacha fax se aayega"

JOKEZZ

Mr Elahi had 3 sons named
rehmet-e-elahi,
barkat-e-elahi,
n mehbub-e-elahi
when his 4th son was born
his wife decided to name
him bus-kar-e-elahi

THINK

Toothpaste & Boobs

What is the Similarity between Toothpaste & Boobs?

Guess ? its easy !!

U know the answer !!

Kholo.. Dabao... Muh me dalo aur Fresh ho jaao.

LIFE HO TO AISI

DIFFRENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:

AGE 20 - DIN RAAT,

AGE 28 - ROZ RAAT,

AGE 38 - JUMME RAAT,

AGE 48 - CHAND RAAT, 

AGE 58 - ONLY JAZBAAT,

AGE 68 - GALAT BAAT...

DAILY DOSE

Sex karo

Sex karo daily, 

Agar wo mil jaye akeli,

agar na mile akeli to pakar lo us ki saheli,

agar na mile saheli to zindabad hatheli

lekin sex karo daily

akhraot

ek aadmi govt job ke liye interview dene gya
interviewer: aap ki koi kamzori to nhi
aadmi: ji sir , asal me main pahle fauz me tha, meri taango ke beech me bum fta aur mere akhrot udd gye
interviewer: ye to koi problem nhi, monday se aap join karei, hum sab 9 bje aate hain, aap 11 bje aana
aadmi:aisa kyu?
interviewer:
hum sab 11 bje tak kuch nhi karte bus apne akhrot khujate rahte hain

sms

Mr Elahi had 3 sons named
rehmet-e-elahi,
barkat-e-elahi,
n mehbub-e-elahi
when his 4th son was born
his wife decided to name
him bus-kar-e-elahi